Why I Write, Part 2: Fiction

I've always loved stories. I loved reading as soon as I learned how; I wrote my first stories when I was five or six years old. I would write and illustrate my own books, populating them with numerous characters and drawing the illustrations and completing them by stapling all the papers together. As I grew older, both the stories I read and the ones I wrote grew longer. Some of my best childhood memories are of moving around the country with Laura Ingalls Wilder, exploring the Mississippi (and avoiding getting caught) with Huck Finn, and enjoying all the quirks and oddities of humanity with Anne of Green Gables and Emily of New Moon. I remember reflecting on Laura's way of dealing with mean girls, Emily's struggles to please her family, and Huck's wrestling with his own conceptions of race and those that his authorities were proclaiming as truth.

These memories reflect why I like to write fiction: 1) I am greedy for new experiences and 2) For me and many people, fiction is a powerful way to learn about the world and work out problems.

I honestly get bored with the sameness of me, the sameness of my life. I love to meet different people, travel to new places, and learn about things I've never experienced. I never had a sister, so I am curious to know what that would be like. I came from a happy, stable family, so I wonder how my life would be different if I had come from an unhappy family. I grew up in the West; I have no idea what it's like to live on the East Coast. Whenever I hear about anyone's problems, I always wonder, "How would I react? What would I do?" Sometimes I get frustrated with my own personality. I have weaknesses and shortcomings, and it's fun to imagine that I am someone different. Sure, if I had a different personality I would have other weaknesses. But at least when I invent a whole new personality, I can take a break from mine for a while.

And humans! Human beings are endlessly fascinating to me. Every single person ever born has been unique, yet we share so many similar traits. Myers-Briggs can break most people down into sixteen basic personality types, yet no two people are exactly the same. Humans have weaknesses that turn out to be strengths, a tendency to self-destruct, and blindnesses about themselves that are somehow obvious to everyone else.

It's this endless curiosity that leads me to read and eventually, to write. When I want new experiences, I can read, but sometimes my mind begins exploring questions about people and experiences before I think to look for a particular book. That's where stories come from, and once they're inside, I have to write them out.

Also, writing stories enables me to work out problems, both ones feared or imagined and ones experienced, in a meaningful way. I have a hard time talking about my feelings, and the straightforward answer to an issue, conflict, or difficult experience can often satisfy my mind, but not always my heart. And when I work out something intellectually without really working it out in my heart, eventually I will once again struggle with the problem.

The most clarity comes when I explore problems or conflicts through fiction. Approaching a problem through a fictional world gives me enough distance to be a little more objective, yet living through the characters keeps it close enough to my heart that when I have finished writing, I feel a peace and understanding that won't come simply through a rational process.

These new experiences and methods of problem-solving make writing fiction a joy for me. It's a difficult joy, one that only come after a lot of staring at a blank page and what seems to be wasted time imagining paths that never work out in the story. But I think that the most lasting and deep joys only come through difficulties, so it's worth the time and energy.

That's why I write fiction.