Tuesday, May 7, 2013

Having a Baby (the Second Time Around)

A little over two months ago, little baby Kaitlyn was born. Having our second daughter was very different for me from when the first was born (in a good way), and I wanted to share my experience....

The second time around, the wonder of holding your baby for the first time is greater, because not only are you thrilled by the present, but you also have tasted the joy of some of the wonderful moments to come. You know that even in difficult or painful moments, it will be worth it for this little human.

The second time around, you know that you CAN get your baby dressed without breaking her, even with that wobbly little head and the iron grip needed to stretch out her arms and legs.

The second time around, instead of staying awake the entire first night because you are convinced your baby will stop breathing if you dare to not be conscious of her for even a second, you remember that her next breath comes from God, not from your willpower and attention. You even take baby into your hospital bed with you and let her sleep in the crook of your arm (in spite of all the warnings you've heard against the hazards of co-sleeping), because you know that both of you will sleep better together.

The second time around, when you get home from the hospital and break down in a tearful panic, thinking to yourself, "Who keeps letting me come home with tiny helpless people?" you don't succumb fully to the terror, because you know that you are exhausted and hormonal and that things will probably be okay.

The second time around, you let yourself sleep when the baby sleeps, even though you're not getting anything done. After all, last time the world didn't stop when you slept and didn't wash any dishes, and your husband or mom is watching the toddler. Sanity is more important than accomplishment!

The second time around, you are not shocked at the amount of exhaustion you feel or surprised by the lack of sleep. You are simply exhausted, but it's okay because you know that A), you'll get used to functioning even while tired and B), someday you'll get to sleep again.

The second time around, you have to make more of an effort to treasure all the time spent holding your baby, because your toddler also needs your love and attention. But you make that effort, even when it means sacrificing your own time, because in three months you will look at your sweet chubby baby and wonder, "Where did my newborn go?"