Life Update

Okay, it's been several months since I posted. I kept thinking to myself, "I need to blog," and not doing it, and feeling bad for not doing it. Finally I got to the point where I realized that I was actually too busy to blog and needed to not attempt to post anything again until July when I would be done teaching my summer course.

So, now we're in July, and here I am. Before I write about anything else, I thought a quick life update about the last few months was in order.

Since the last time I blogged in February, a variety of things took up most of my time:

1) Moving. 
Moving was the big one. Let's just say that I never want to move again. This dream is not realistic, since we are renting now but would like to buy a home eventually, but even the thought of moving again makes me exhausted. There's something about packing up everything you own that makes you realize that you own way too much stuff. There's something about unpacking everything you own that tempts you to just throw away about half of it, except you think to yourself, "I really should give away or sell what I can... someone is bound to want a rocking chair or dresser or baby girls' clothes, and eventually I may need these anti-diahrreal pills or more than two shirts." So you can't just throw it all away. I know, First World Problems. "I just hate it when I have an abundance of everything I could ever want or need."

Compounding the annoyance of putting All The Stuff away is the fact that I have no organizational skills and a hard time making decisions. (I think these two weaknesses are part of a vicious cycle for me.) When I'm not sure where the best place to store something is, or what the best way to organize a variety of items is, I just don't do it at all. If I'm honest, I'm kind of hoping a solution will just appear in my mind (it has happened before), or that Ian will get tired of the mess before I do and handle it. But then I eventually feel trapped in chaos when there are no cleared horizontal spaces. This chaotic feeling makes it even harder for me to make decisions.

This need to spend a lot of time doing what I like least and am least talented at is part of why I didn't have time to blog.

2) Working.
Ian's job had him working almost sixty hours every week. It's crazy when your husband is gone before the kids get up (and our kids are EARLY risers) and comes home basically one hour before bath and bedtime. I have a whole new level of respect for single parents. I really don't know how they do it.

On top of this, I was also working, teaching two classes at the community college here. Originally, I had lined up a babysitter to watch the girls an extra two hours a week beyond their time with my parents, but that fell through toward the beginning of the semester, and since there wasn't that much to grade yet, I never got a replacement. Thus, instead of blogging during nap times or after bedtime, I was grading or answering e-mails. These things take up more time than you would think, especially when one class is online and so homework and emails are the only available communication you have with students.

3) Small Children Thrown Off Their Schedules.
With our move, Alexandra and Kaitlyn started sharing a bedroom. They're both pretty good about taking naps, but the first two weeks when we lived in our new place, they did not nap. I think the change in place was a big part of it, but it took me several days to figure out that they simply could not take naps in the same room. Alexandra likes to sing herself to sleep, which would keep Kaitlyn up; when Kaitlyn talks to herself, Alexandra comes out to complain about it. We've had many instances of the following conversation:

Me: "Alexandra, what are you doing out of bed?"

Alexandra: "Kaitlyn's talking and keeping me awake."

Kaitlyn from the bedroom: "Ma-ma! A-je-jan-ja!"

Alexandra: "See?"

Thankfully, we were able to borrow my parents' Pack N Play, so when the girls each had their own room for naps, nap time started happening again regularly.

Of course, I don't have to explain to anyone who's had small children how sacred nap time is. It's a break, a time to rest and recover, a time to not be one-hundred-percent at the disposal of somebody else. And not only does nap time give a parent a small time to recover, nap time also (at least in our household) makes the evening much more pleasant, because the small children are rested and happy instead of tired and cranky. So in the two weeks without nap time, surrounded by stuff that wasn't put away and on my own for twelve hours a day, I became very exhausted and discouraged. I needed to spend any free time I had resting and not blogging.

But now, stuff is put away, our house is (mostly) organized, the kids are taking naps again, and my spring and summer courses are over. Let the blogging recommence!